STEPS 1-3 OF DEPRESSION'S 7 STEPS TO SELF-UNDERSTANDING

1. RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS OF DEPRESSION'S APPROACH

We recognize the signs that depression is oncoming. Such recognition of the ways in and through which our depression

comes to us gives us a warning that it is approaching, allowing us to prepare ourselves. With this awareness, we are not caught by surprise and, as a result, are not as initially fearful or severely affected. We may become aware of personal experiences like a certain mood, specific thoughts, a feeling in the body, or simply a sense of tension that warn us of oncoming depression.

2. BE AWARE OF THE WAY DEPRESSION SHOWS ITSELF

We become aware of the ways in which depression initially acts upon us and, just as importantly, of our responses to it. This awareness helps to prepare us to bear the brunt of depression's onslaught as it hits us full force.  Being aware and at least somewhat prepared to receive this full force of depression can have the effect of decreasing our anxiety and fearfulness about it. Our ability to "weather the storm" is enhanced. Though the storm will still come in all its power, our awareness that is is on the way and knowing the damage it can cause, better prepares us to "batten down the hatches" at least a bit, and receive the depression with a greater sense of safety fortified with the knowledge that it will eventually pass.

3. RECOGNIZE YOUR REACTIONS TO DEPRESSION

We create and preserve and awareness within ourselves of a sense of peace and safety even in the very midst of the throes of depression. Upon discovering that we have the ability to recognize the signs of depression as it approaches us, and can observe and be aware of its effects upon us and our responses to it, we may realize that we also possess an ability to find peace and safety within ourselves, and that this ability is present within us even in the midst of the worst depression. This is the beginning of an experience of our own ability and power to both recognize and deal with our depression and ourselves.

THE NATURAL PLACE OF BREAKING DOWN

We don’t seem to realize that our lives, i.e. our worldly lives, “wind down” and then, sooner or later, end. We become so identified with our “worldly” (i.e. physical/sensory) existence that this winding down, i.e. breaking down appears as utterly unfair to us. We have no vision whatsoever of any other world, any other kind of existence, and this ignorance makes it all far worse for us. We are so far removed from death and the process of it until we ourselves or perhaps those around us begin this process of winding and breaking down.

For myself, I see that I am physically much more limited and even in pain at times. Even more, I see it happen rapidly with my wife. Yet there is a kind of birth into a new reality that begins to take place; call it an other-worldly reality. Strangely, I have become more aware of this physical, worldly reality in the process of my own winding and breaking down. When I go into the deep forest, I am aware of something beyond or behind this apparent dimension that seems to be approached, at least for me, though this worldly, physical dimension. There is an underlying presence of undistractedness, of complete centeredness, of absolute peace yet also very alive, if not a “greater life” in itself. I live more and more (and sometimes less and less) within this context of being. Whenever I “fall out of it”, i.e. of this awareness, I suffer immensely in loss, abandonment, and despair. And it is absolutely unbearable. It rather quickly breaks down any false hopes or beliefs I may have constructed to fortify an identity with this world. I am gradually returned to this sense of and life within a greater context, a greater life, if you will. Some will call this greater context, greater life, “God”, though I prefer not to since we ascribe too much agency and personality to that term. A greater context, greater life simply exists and exists for all. Jesus said as much when he stated that the sun shines on the gentile as well as the Jew; we are all chosen, so to speak, to live within this greater life. It neither loves nor hates us; it just is as it is.

THE GIFT OF DEPRESSION

'The gift of depression? Is this guy crazy? I'm sorry but it ain't no gift to me! It's a curse! Who doesn't know that?' I would say that most people with depression would have that response.

However, what if we were to view depression as a gift rather than as a curse? Again, most people with depression would probably ask: 'Why on earth would I ever want to do that with a condition so utterly painful and unbearable?'  True, depression is utterly painful and unbearable for many, including myself. But, does something that is utterly painful and unbearable have to be only a curse? Can it be something else for us, something of value, something that can even help us to understand ourselves and live our lives better?


I'm not talking about attitudinal change; I'm talking about recognizing a greater context in which life occurs, in which we and our lives occur. What if this pain of depression actually had some kind of purpose in our lives? A purpose that we might only become aware of if we could see that this depression actually brings a certain kind of awareness and sensitivity to us, or, to put it in the opposite way, our particular awareness and sensitivity bring us into a painful state that we call 'depression'. I believe--and have experienced--that this may actually be how it is (for myself and a good many others); that there is a greater context in which our depression does bring us a deeper comprehension of not only our own lives and ourselves, but of existence itself. Of course it only brings this deeper understanding if we open ourselves to it and are willing to give ourselves a chance. This does not mean that we want our depression or seek it, or that we love misery or self-pity; it just means that we recognize our situation and realize that we need to face it and ourselves in some more realistic way.


Does the depression, the sensitivity, the awareness, and the accompanying 'difficulty' go away when we approach it in this way, with this understanding? Well, the depression, the sensitivity, and the awareness do not go away, however, they are changed. The sense of unbearable pain changes when we see that something valuable is being given to us in and through our 'depression'. Once we experience for ourselves that we are being given a 'gift' of self-understanding and appreciation of self, others, and life, it is very hard to be 'depressed' in the sense that we are being victimized. We see that we are receiving the 'gift of depression'.


I recognized and experienced this reality so clearly that I wrote a book about it! It took almost three years for it to work itself through me, but I did it. That in itself was a gift; I couldn't do it now. It was as though the depression contained a message for me to convey to all those who have what we call 'depression'. In addition to that, I have worked with many people in groups and classes on 'understanding depression'. Many people in these groups and classes have most definitely benefited from the perspectives and exercises presented by me and in my book. I have seen this for myself and they have told me. Thus, it's worth a try. There is so much more to 'depression' than we know, believe, or have been told! But to discover this 'much more', we need to be willing to look and to be open to ourselves, and others who may have something to offer us.